Another tribute to Donna

My friend, and fellow elder, Lee wrote about Donna on his blog, here. He writes for a living, I just play one on the Internet.

My girls are on the mend. Emily went to ballet tonight, and Rachel is looking and feeling better, but not quite all the way there. One more day should do it.

Still getting tons of cards and condolences from so many people. I'll be writing "Thank You" notes until 2010!

Update on the girls

Both of the girls have upper respiratory infections. They are both on antibiotics, but we are really just keeping the temperatures under control and waiting it out.


They are still cute though... :) I always told Donna she made cute babies.

Overwhelmed!

Words cannot express the overwhelmed feelings I am feeling. We have suffered a loss that is unlike anything we've ever experienced. We've encountered trials that we never imagined we would go through. I cannot tell you how much I miss Donna. I cannot tell you how much I miss Donna for me and for the girls. My favorite picture of her stares me in the face, every time I sit down in our favorite coffee spot in the house. I look at it and think, "Oh honey,..." How I wish she were here. How I wish to tell her so many things. How I wish I could ask her so many questions.

...but God

God is providing. He is providing for me and the girls like I never would have imagined. And in so many ways. Every need is being met... and much more. I see God's provision in so much of what is going on, that I'm ashamed that I doubt Him sometimes. Many times I want to try and "do something" to help Him out in some way. But what could I do?

I was talking with a good friend when Donna was in the hospital. They had been prayed that they would be able to "do" something for us. But he came to find out, that the "doing" was praying, and the "doing" was being faithful to God, and the "doing" was trusting in God in every circumstance, and not relying on our own feeble attempts. The "doing" is relying on Him; trusting in Him. That His will is good and perfect and always loving.

I still find myself trying to "do" things... and I have to catch myself, and turn back to relying on Him.

A favorite song of mine says, "[I'm] prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love..." How true that is of us who are still here. Donna is not prone to wander now... how cool is that!

Please continue to pray for me and the girls... they both are fighting something and have temperatures over 101. Probably take them to the Dr. tomorrow if they are still like this.

Camp Barakel

The girls and I are heading up to Camp Barakel this weekend. This is a place that we've loved to go to for years, it is very relaxing. Our church youth group (including Rachel) were already scheduled to go, and Emily and I are tagging along.

Emily and I will just hang out and probably go to some of the chapels, but mainly recoup (and use the awesome tubing hill! - complete with tow rope back to the top!).

I'll be sure to take my camera for some fun shots of the weekend.

Amazed

Wow! ...that's what I have to say about all the people that came to the memorial and the service on Saturday. We are very blessed to have so many people who love Donna and love us. We are still going through the cards and the guest book. I'll post how many people signed the guest book later.

Some people have asked if I'm going to continue the blog. I thought this would be the end, but I know there are some people who really want to know how we are doing down the road. So, for a while anyway, I'll continue to post updates about how the girls and I are doing.

There are so many people to thank, and later I will share some of my thoughts and some things I came to realize during this time. I hope it will help anyone going through a tough time like this as well.

A dear friend, Gwen, posted the following on her blog about Donna the other day, here. Her tribute Kaleidoscope to Donna is amazing to read. Check it out.

Thanks again.

There is a Reason

He makes all things good.

Online Guest Book

Feel free to leave a tribute to Donna here in the comments, or on the funeral home online guest book, here.

In lieu of flowers memorials may be made to the family for the future education of Rachel and Emily.

Thank you all for the wonderful outpouring of support. We are truly blessed.

Memorial Arrangements

Memorial Visitation
North Oaks Community Church
9600 Ortonville Rd.
Clarkston, MI 48348

Friday, February 13, 2009 - 1pm - Family may visit

Friday, February 13, 2009 - 2pm - 9pm - Family and Friends may visit

Memorial Service
Waterford Community Church
3900 Airport Rd.
Waterford, MI 48329

Saturday, February 14, 2009 - 11am
Friends may visit from 10am until the time of the service
Luncheon for family following the service

In lieu of flowers memorials may be made to the family for the future education of Rachel and Emily.

She has finished the race...

This morning, around 1:15am, my sweet Donna went to be with her Savior... she was truly Living for the Line to the very end.

Our friend, Robin wrote a letter to Donna that she came and read to her with the following verse, which is appropriate for Donna.

As Paul wrote to Timothy.

II Timothy 4:6-8

"For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight: I have finished the race. I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award me on that day - and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing."

I will update the blog when we have funeral arrangements.

Please continue to pray for our entire family.

Thank you.

A New Day

It's only 7:25 in the morning... but I'm encouraged by Donna's attitude and demeanor. She is ready to do whatever it takes to get well. She ordered some breakfast (a shake - it's' a start :) ), and is very lucid and alert.

Not sure how she is doing clinically, but if her mood is any indication... we are on our way!

Pray on...!

Resting on His Promises

As many of you know, today, Donna was rushed to the hospital after we called 911. Her blood pressure had dropped very low and she was so weak she could hardly do anything at all. I won't go into detail about what was going on, but suffice it to say we are thankful for the quick and timely response of the Springfield Township Fire Dept (volunteer) and Star EMS.

I thank God for the good friends and support from Loli, my mom, and Mark who were all there when we decided to make the call. I could not have done that without you guys! God is good.

Donna has sepsis again. Not sure where or how it started again, but that is the diagnosis from the ICU doctors (why does this always happen on the weekends!) It is in her blood. Hopefully this time they will be able to find the source of the infection.

Her kidneys were starting to fail, but it now looks like we may be able to work out of this. That is good news. She is complaining of a feeling of indigestion, but it is hard for her to describe the feeling or the sensation exactly. Her heart rate, blood pressure, and other vitals are all fairly normal, but may fluctuate just outside of normal for short periods of time.

She is only whispering now, even though she does not have any mouth sores or issues with her lips. Her mouth always seems to be dry. Even when she drinks, it does not seem to be enough to take care of the problem. She can't seem to get warm either. That is probably because they are filling her with fluids to get her blood pressure to rise.

On my computer wallpaper are the following sayings...

We are trying to rest on these promises as we go through these trials.

Please continue to pray for us.

If you have any specific questions, please leave a comment, and I'll try my best to answer them.

Thanks.

U of M

Oh, where to begin.

The last two days have been very tiring. I'm not sure I'll be able to get all the details down, because my thoughts are somewhat scattered, but I thought I needed to get out a post, because I'm sure there are people wondering how it is going.

Yesterday, we went to the U of M Cancer Center to get a 2nd opinion on Donna's situation. We had gone there before when Donna had her 2nd bout with cancer. We were going to see the same Dr. this time too. I could go into a lot of the details about what the Dr. said, but I'm going to give the bottom line. The Dr. basically said that Donna's liver is in bad shape. How bad, I cannot gauge exactly, but when doctors say it is not good, then you know it is really not good. Regardless of how her liver got bad, the fact now is that chemo may hurt her as much as it helps at this point. We always knew that chemo would be hard on the liver, and has the potential to "tax" the liver whenever chemo is given. That is the bottom line from the U of M.

Today I talked with our main oncologist. We agreed that that the best thing to do now is to see how Donna is responding to the new chemo over the next few days. If it seems like she is improving, then we will continue on the chemo regimen. If not, then we need to evaluate whether the dosage is reduced, or we take a break from chemo to see if things turnaround. Today she actually had a Boost shake and some raw milk for breakfast, and about 2/3 of another Boost around 3pm. This is significantly more than she has been eating over the last few weeks. I know that does not sound like a lot, and it isn't; so we are thankful that she's eaten that much today. We are going to try to get anything in her that she wants. She is still fighting nausea every once in a while; when it comes, it comes quickly.

The fluid build up has been greatly reduced since her last paracentesis, but not in the way you might think. They withdrew about 1-1/2 liters of fluid last Tuesday, but since then, she's been "leaking". There is a little drainage hole that did not get healed up, and the fluid is leaking out, pretty rapidly. So, we have to use an ostomy bag or other things to soak it all up. We are not sure when it will close up, but both St. Joe's, and U of M both looked at it.

We are still amazed and humbled at the number of people who are praying for Donna. Please don't stop! We covet your prayers. We are in the Valley of Vision... looking up for help.

Thanks,

Infusion Update

Donna was able to get her 1st infusion of the new type of chemo today. This was good, since it was going to be "iffy" the way she was feeling. The numbers were good enough to get the first dose, so we'll see how things go.

As always, we are truly impressed by the attention and professionalism of the staff at the infusion center. They take very good care of Donna. We are blessed to have nurses that truly care about their patients.

Pray for Donna as she rests tonight. She is extremely tired from moving around today from the car to the building and back again. Her stamina is very short. She could not wait to get a chance to rest when we got home today.

We are also very thankful for Donna's mom to be able to stay with us during this time. She is a joy to have around and is doing so much to keep things normal.

New Chemo today

The paracentesis went without a hitch. That was good. They drained another liter (1400 cc) of fluid from her abdomen. It just took a long time. We got into the hospital at 12:30, for the 1:30 appointment, and didn't get home until 7pm. Luckily, I got a chicken Caesar salad out of the deal for dinner.

Donna is stable. She does not appear to be getting better or worse at this point. We are hopeful for the chemo today.

We are ready to fight.

Paracentesis again today

There has been a little switch-a-roo in the plans over the next couple of days. Donna was going to get chemo today and paracentesis Wednesday, but because of the amount of fluid that has built up again it was decided to switch the two.

So, today will be the paracentesis (with anesthesia!) and tomorrow will be the first chemo with the new drug, Gemzar. We are still going to the U of M on Thursday.

We had a wonderful prayer time last night, thank you to all that were able to come and for all of you who were not there and praying for Donna. She is uplifted today.

Monday Night Prayer

Tonight, some Godly men and women are going to be coming together to pray for Donna. They will be meeting at the church at 8:00pm tonight. This is an impromptu prayer meeting, but this was much needed for Donna and me today.

Thank you North Oaks Community Church.

Neither Donna nor I can express what this means to us.