Overwhelmed!

Words cannot express the overwhelmed feelings I am feeling. We have suffered a loss that is unlike anything we've ever experienced. We've encountered trials that we never imagined we would go through. I cannot tell you how much I miss Donna. I cannot tell you how much I miss Donna for me and for the girls. My favorite picture of her stares me in the face, every time I sit down in our favorite coffee spot in the house. I look at it and think, "Oh honey,..." How I wish she were here. How I wish to tell her so many things. How I wish I could ask her so many questions.

...but God

God is providing. He is providing for me and the girls like I never would have imagined. And in so many ways. Every need is being met... and much more. I see God's provision in so much of what is going on, that I'm ashamed that I doubt Him sometimes. Many times I want to try and "do something" to help Him out in some way. But what could I do?

I was talking with a good friend when Donna was in the hospital. They had been prayed that they would be able to "do" something for us. But he came to find out, that the "doing" was praying, and the "doing" was being faithful to God, and the "doing" was trusting in God in every circumstance, and not relying on our own feeble attempts. The "doing" is relying on Him; trusting in Him. That His will is good and perfect and always loving.

I still find myself trying to "do" things... and I have to catch myself, and turn back to relying on Him.

A favorite song of mine says, "[I'm] prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love..." How true that is of us who are still here. Donna is not prone to wander now... how cool is that!

Please continue to pray for me and the girls... they both are fighting something and have temperatures over 101. Probably take them to the Dr. tomorrow if they are still like this.